My sweet oldest boy Asher.
Every year on your birthday, I remember what it was like on the day you came into this world. It had been a long night of labor, and as I watched the sun rise that morning, I remember feeling as if you would NEVER arrive.
Your dad and I were young and still freshly in love; married for only 10 months. We were still learning each other's habits and rhythms, and now we were going to be parents. Everything seemed to be happening so quickly, but such major life changes have often pulled us together.
When you arrived, you were so indescribably beautiful to me. Your tiny bony body and purplish wet skin made you look as fragile as a baby bird, and the feeling of you laying on my heart was unlike anything I'd ever felt before.
I was in love in a fierce, unexplainable way. I did not choose to love you, I simply loved you in the way I breathe without realizing or thinking about it. You are part of me.
I know I am hard on you sometimes, and I realize that I have high expectations for you, but I hope that in some way even that is an expression of my love.
May 18th was one of the best days of my life and I am so proud to be your mom.